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Sophie Mosia, psychologist, psychotherapist, head of the Center for Psycho-Social Rehabilitation – “Gambling addiction can be overcome!”

People play from before to our era to the present… Ancient civilizations made toys from animal bones, we invented the card in China from 1100 BC, in the Middle Ages it was shared by Europe, followed by the so-called “roulette” as a means of combating fraud and then became the most adventurous. Slot machines followed, then gradually universal lotteries, derbies, casinos, bookmakers and with the further development of civilization, today’s internet games…. Unusual seems to be nothing, moreover, both gambling and gambling are a necessary and important part of human personal development and identity, but the fact is that, like any earthly event, normal gambling and gambling have limits and forms… any event or conflict then becomes a mental disorder , When the problem of personal dysfunction arises, which is significantly deepened and complicated by such a protective mechanism characteristic of the human psyche as denial.

Denial is a universal defense mechanism that characterizes people who are addicted to the substance or gambling itself, as well as their family members, friends or relatives, and of course the player himself is the last to admit it. It is a tendency not to notice, not to see, not to recognize, a tendency that forces us to stay in the ostrich position for a long time, and only when the problem is deeply rooted, when the most characteristic and dysfunctional behavioral stereotype of all living beings can not escape the problem. And we are forced to do things. We Georgians have a genius proverb, “a previously standing bird cleans its beak, sleeping – wipes its eyes”

Today, no one argues that with many complex and specific characteristics, any addiction – be it gambling addiction, alcoholism, drug addiction or otherwise – is often accompanied by one inherent and even more aggravating phenomenon of problem addiction, such as addiction. It was first discovered decades ago through many years of observation and study of the family relationships of alcoholics. People living with or in close contact with an addicted person become ill with an interdependence whose character and form are determined by the peculiarities of family dynamics, the character of people, and the form of relationships that these people have formed in coexistence. In many cases, when working with an addicted person, it is crucial to work with people who are related to him or her, as well as family psychotherapy, as it is believed that new relationship patterns can weaken the progression of the addiction process.

“Empathy is a solidly sick attitude towards another person’s compulsive behaviors and other human thoughts, and expresses a person’s attempt to regain faith in himself, his meaning, and to feel like a person.” To make it simpler and clearer, there is a co-dependent person who is so engrossed in another person’s life that he or she no longer fully has the time and energy to carry out his or her own, real vital needs or functions. An interlocutor often becomes a mother, spouse, close friend or any close person who feels responsible for the condition and health of an addicted person.

It turns out that in the role of an irrational “savior” and by his wrong behavior, the co-dependent person constantly carries out the so-called The ritual of sacrifice, denying one’s own interests and rational ways of self-identity, and manifesting oneself as a savior dependent on a mask wrapped in a mask of care and love. In fact, this constant helping hand completely deprives the person with the problem of a sense of responsibility for their own actions and allows them to remain in this destructive cycle, becoming even more addicted. At a time when this irrational “care” and constant “survival” is already an obligatory and obligatory action, it becomes even more difficult for a person addicted to gambling or substance to break this cycle, he already has to wrestle with two, three or more problems…. There is an opinion that getting rid of addiction and healing from it is a much more difficult process than addiction itself.

Interdependence, like any psychopathology, certainly has a complex cause – ranging from dysfunctional family, childhood traumas, parenting patterns, destructive relationships, and global or cultural traditions and characteristics, as well as specific course, negative outcomes of treatment. But this time, our goal is not to discuss and study this phenomenon scientifically. Nor am I going to quote recommendations and advice that can be found in international medical guidelines (eg, “Do not pay debts to a player”, “Do not lend money”, “A person addicted to gambling will not stop playing until the person who lends him money” and so on. It is very valuable and important to help a loved one to understand what people who already have gambling problems or risks feel and think, as well as to understand our feelings and fears, not to rebuke or try to control life and behavior, but to offer and deliver Grateful helping hand. We must remember that we cannot force a player to stop a game by order, intimidation or request, no matter what we say or do, the only person who can break the cycle of a vicious game is the player himself with his decision and sincere intentions. The problem is gambling addiction and not the person himself. Let your loved one know that you want and can help him to stop the problematic behavior and not to encourage him, try to show and think that if his behavior and lifestyle changes with gambling, he will most likely go universally to addiction, support him in this fight and escape from the problem. , In reinforcing infantile behavior, which is deepened by each issue resolved in its place….

And remember, game addiction can be overcome! In any case, no matter what stage of gambling a person is in, in order to feel safe and also to be protected by someone important to you, it is probably better to go through an issue that bothers you and openly discuss it with a specialist who will provide you with important professional help.

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